It’s a long commute for me to work. Adding to my agony is the traffic. I have to drop my son to his school and head to work. My son keeps me entertained for half of the journey to work. Our conversation is simple and usually about construction diggers, counting school buses, blue bikes, Thomas train, "gaba gaba song" and how much he likes school and stuff. After "I love you and I will pick you up" I am off to work and of course I have to battle the traffic first. The first week of work was hectic. I was never use to long commute before.
My husband gave me some suggestions on how to handle gridlock traffic. "Listen to your favorite songs or listen to radio salam namaste" he says. Good suggestion and probably I would suggest the same to other long commuters too. But that’s not the case with me. I am frustrated, cursing all slow going cars, over taking, and trying to reach early. And the funny part is that there is no urgency to reach early. I will have ample of time to reach on time but yet I am in a hurry to reach early. I cannot withstand slow moving vehicles especially the ones who are going below the speed limit for no reason.
Then, on one fine evening after leaving work, an epiphany explodes in my mind. I realized in that fine moment that all the drivers in their vehicles are driving according to their own individual personalities. I am fast in everything I do from everyday chore like cooking to cleaning and now it shows in my driving too. Fast driving is my personality. Don’t get me wrong here. I respect and follow driving law. I will never ever go insanely fast, disregarding other drivers and jeopardizing precious life on road. It’s just that I am a fast person and slow irritates me.
Anyway, I wanted to experiment with my theory. Does a person’s driving reveal their personality? Ever since this question popped up in my mind, I am observing and analyzing all drivers who share my direction to work. Every day I get to see different drivers and everyday is something different to learn about human psychology. I see female drivers who put on makeup while driving; I see young drivers aged 18 to 25 with high volume rap music; I see drivers in lot of hurry; I see drivers who have all the time in this world; I see drivers who are too busy to eat breakfast at home and eat in their car; I see driver who are elderly and in no rush.
As far as my fast attitude driving is concerned, I’ve changed my ways now. Even though fast is in my blood, driving on public road is definitely no place to display it. I get to meet slow drivers, very fast drivers, obnoxious and rude drivers, young and elderly drivers on my way to work. I have learnt to respect every one of them and reach my destination safe. All thanks to my husband who made me realize this. It was just three days ago when we were driving somewhere and I came across a vehicle that was going very slow. I complained my husband on how slow the vehicle is going. He responded saying “you don’t know what condition they are in. Just pass and go.” To my shock it was a very old lady probably 80 years old or even older driving that car. My heart sank.
Commute these days is much calmer from my side. I drive with highest respect to my co-drivers. I am yielding and pass slow goers without frown on my face. I may never know what condition or situation they are in. All I can do is understand and drive. Drive safe y’ll.
Oh I am so going to miss my Granny’s 80th Birthday. Everyone in the family is attending even the ones who are usually busy. My sister from Chennai is attending, my cousin who is pregnant and fragile is attending, my Granny’s brothers and sisters are attending, everyone except me. I called her to wish my regards and the only thing she has to say is “why on earth you there. Wrap up and come here to your family”. She is not the only person to say this. My cousins, my uncle and aunty, even my parents want me and family to move to India for good. So, what is holding me here? They hate the separation of physical barrier and me too. This is the biggest downside of dwelling in USA. I am really missing all the important milestones of my family in India and they are all missing all the life highlights of me and my kids.
Anyway, I cannot believe Granny is 80 years young. Her kids are performing “Pawana Shanti” on this occasion. I don’t know anything about this shanti. I searched to find out more about it online but of no use. I wish I would witness all the rituals of this function. Granny is the only person in the family to reach 80 years and I pray she will reach many more wonderful healthy years ahead. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA and I will truly miss your Big Day.
I am horned and proud to post a story based on real circumstances and real people, wonderfully written by my uncle A V Krishnamurthy. I am eternally gratitude to him for giving me his permission to post one of his story " The Saviour".
The Saviour
Keshava could not sleep that night. He was feeling miserable. He had never thought that he would be landing in this position one day. As his elder brother was quite well off in the city, he never thought that his family would seek the family partition. He was aware that his parents had spent considerable amount for the education of his elder brother; whereas he himself had devoted all his time and energy for the family agricultural land. In fact he had to toil hard to maintain his family all the time. In spite of that sacrifice the family income was just sufficient for its maintenance. The partition of property would call for splitting the land which was just an unviable proposition. Keshava was also not in a position to pay the cash compensation in-lieu of the property as he had no savings on account of the continuously falling arecanut prices.
Nittur was a small village on the banks of the river Netravathi in the erstwhile South Kanara district of Karnataka. Mukund Rao was a hard working small farmer. He had a small land holding of four acres. He had arecanut plantation in two acres and the other two acres of paddy growing land had been given on tenancy. He had two children, both boys. The first son Vamana was very good in his studies. Keshava, the second son, was an average student but was very much interested in agriculture. He joined his father in his agriculture activities after completing his SSLC examination. Even though his father wanted him to at least complete his graduation, he had no such inclination. Ultimately Mukund Rao had to give up and allow him to join him.
Vamana continued his studies in the city. As he was a brilliant student, he had no difficulty in successfully completing his education. After his graduation he completed his Chartered Accountancy. Within a short time he established a very good practice. His parents were very happy for him. In spite of his successful career both in education and profession, Vamana was quite unassuming in his nature. He had been brought up in a very good family atmosphere and it reflected in all his dealings.
His parents were in search of a good girl for their beloved son. In the meanwhile Vamana was approached by one of his clients with a proposal of their daughter. In the course of their professional dealings, the client was very much impressed with the personality and caliber of Vamana. Vamana had also become very close to the family. He had, on several occasions, seen their only daughter Smitha at their home. Smitha was a beautiful girl with lovable features. She had completed her graduation just then.
Vamana asked his client to approach his parents. They were pleased to take it as his indirect consent. Mukund Rao couple had basically no objection, even though heart of heart, they would have preferred a girl from the village background. They had some reservations for a city- bred girl. But finding the willingness of their beloved son, they gave their consent for the proposal. The marriage was held in the city and the couple was quite pleased by the way Smitha’s parents conducted it. Soon after the marriage Vamana set up his family in the city.
Vamana was very particular to have his own house in the city early. He was on the look out for a suitable site. He was allotted a site by the City Development authority. He had to pay an amount of rupees twenty thousand to get it registered in his name. As he had spent all his savings for his marriage expenses, he had no means to pay it. He told his father about it. He came to his rescue. He had saved some money from out of his limited agricultural income. He was pleased to help his son to secure a site in the city. Keshava also had no objections for his father helping his elder brother. The entire cost of the site, rupees twenty thousand, was paid by Mukund Rao. Vamana got a bank loan sanctioned and constructed a big building to serve as both his office and residence. Even though Vamana‘s earnings shot up in due course, he never paid back his father; Neither his father asked him to pay. Keshava never interfered in his father’s financial affairs. He restricted himself to looking after the agricultural lands.
Keshava’s marriage was held with a girl from a nearby village after some years. The marriage expenses were met by his father only. Even though Vamana could have contributed, he never showed any inclination. However he used to attend all family functions and festivals at home with his wife and children. The family members maintained cordial relations all the time.
Much water has flown down the Netravathi since then. More than twenty five years have passed. The Mukund Rao couple had passed away in a span of one year on account of old age. The family had lost the two acres of paddy growing land to the tenants under the tenancy act. Keshava’ only son had also joined him in his agricultural profession. The family income was just sufficient to meet their daily needs. The fall in arecanut prices had resulted in reduced incomes for the cultivators. After the death of parents Vamana had stopped visiting his parental home. Keshava was aware that his brother had become a big shot in the city. He had a highly successful business practice. He never bothered to enquire the financial state of his brother. The two families slowly lost touch completely.
One morning Keshava received a telephone call from Bangalore. He was informed that Vamana had died suddenly of heart attack. Keshava was shocked to hear it. He left for Bangalore immediately and reached Bangalore in the night. He could not see the face of his brother as the family had already conducted the last rites. He met his sister-in-law and expressed his condolences. However he found her aloof and even her son and daughter were indifferent to him. He left Bangalore with great unhappiness. It appeared to him that the two families had moved completely apart.
There was no communication between the families for nearly a year. But Keshava was shocked to receive a court summons one fine morning. It had come from the Civil Magistrate Court of Mangalore. Keshava and his son with their limited knowledge of English made out that Smitha, his sister-in-law, had filed suit in the court against him seeking family partition. It was stated in the summons that Vamana’s family was entitled to fifty percent share of the property under the Hindu Law. Keshava had been asked to appear before the court.
As he got up in the morning Keshava remembered his close friend and class mate Sudhir. He was not in touch with him for quite some time. He had heard that Sudhir was practicing as an advocate in the Mangalore Court. He had also heard that Sudhir was not money-minded and was very sympathetic to his clients in his approach. He decided to go and meet him straight-away.
Sudhir was very happy to meet his old friend after a very long time. Both of them recollected their good old student days, when they had no earthly responsibilities to carry. The position was quite different now. Getting back to the official matter, Keshava told Sudhir all about his case involving his sister-in-law. He explained to Sudhir how he was not in a position to part with half of his lands as demanded by his sister-in-law. Sudhir heard him in detail patiently and also went through the court summons. He told Keshava that on the face of it, he had no way to avoid the partition, as his sister-in-law had a rightful share as the legal heir of her husband as per the Hindu Law. He also told Keshava, the fact that she was well off, had nothing to do with the matter as her husband’s assets were swayarjitha (self earned). He asked Keshava to call on him again with all the property documents in his possession and took his signature on the Vakalath form to enable him to represent him in the court. He also advised him not to worry too much on the matter and he would help him in the best way possible.
That night Keshava could not sleep well. He went on thinking as to what would happen if ultimately he was made to part with half of his land or pay equivalent cash compensation. He was particularly worried about his son who had to survive on the income of half the land or alternatively carry a loan on his head.
In the morning he searched for land records at home. He could find out an old trunk where his father had kept all the records. Among the records he could also find a bank pass book in his father’s name. He had so far never bothered to find out whether his father had kept some money in the bank. He kept all the documents including the pass book in a folder and carried the same to his friend’s office on the next day.
Sudhir went through all the records leisurely. When he opened the bank pass book a small voucher slipped out from the book. He scrutinized it carefully. It was the counterfoil of a bank draft challan issued by the bank. He could find out that the same was nearly thirty years old. The draft had been purchased on Bangalore in favour of Bangalore Development Authority. Sudhir’s eyes lit up on seeing the same. He immediately went through the entries in the pass book; he could find a withdrawal of rupees twenty thousand (draft amount) on the same day.
He asked Keshava whether he knew anything about this draft. Keshava clearly remembered that it was sent to Vamana by his father for registering the site in his name. He also told Sudhir that the site was situated in a prominent commercial locality and his brother had constructed his office and residence on it. Sudhir also got it clarified from him that the full cost of the site at that time was rupees twenty thousand only. He told Keshava not to worry any more and to come back on the day of court hearing.
Ten days later, on the day of hearing at the Civil Judge Court, Mangalore:
The Scene
(The Judge arrives and the court comes to the order. The clerk calls the case-Smt.Smitha & family against Sri Keshava & family. Smitha is present with her lawyer, Mr. Bhat. Keshava has already been briefed by Sudhir. The judge asks Mr. Bhat to proceed with the case. He calls Smitha to the witness box. The proceedings start :)
Bhat: please take the oath. You have filed this case against Keshava for family partition. Have you gone through the plaint in full? Do you say that whatever stated therein is true to the best of your knowledge?
Smitha: Yes. I have gone through the plaint and the contents are true to the best of my knowledge.
Bhat: The plaintiff has asked for the family partition. The details of the family property are furnished in the plaint. As per Hindu law she is entitled for half of the share in the family property. The court may please order accordingly. That is all my Lord.
Judge: Sudhir, you may call the defendant.
Sudhir: Yes my Lord. (Calls Keshava to the witness box)
Sudhir: Keshava, have you gone through the plaint? Do you have anything to say in the matter?
Keshava: Yes. I have gone through the plaint and agree with what is stated therein. I have only one thing to say.
Sudhir: What is it?
Keshava: The family property is not fully covered in the schedule. I request that the entire property of the family may be added to ensure that the partition is just and complete.
Sudhir (looking at the Judge and Mr. Bhat): I think the defendant is justified in seeking for the full property to be partitioned. Does the plaintiff have any objection in the matter?
Judge (laughs): Keshava appears to be a thorough gentleman. He is offering more than what is prayed for in the plaint! Mr. Bhat, any objections?
(Bhat Smilingly consults Smitha, who is also amused and conveys her consent to him):
Bhat: My client has absolutely no objections, my Lord!
Sudhir: This point may be noted my Lord. Can you tell me Keshava, in brief, what are those properties which have been left out and which you want to be included now?
Keshava: I am talking about only one property, presently in the possession of the plaintiff and which belongs to the family!
(The amusement goes away from the face of Smitha and Bhat! They look at each other with concern. The Judge is amused now!)
Sudhir: Can you tell me what is that property and how does it belong to the family?
Keshava: I am referring to the building in Bangalore which houses my brother’s family and the office where he was practicing.
Bhat (intervening): Objection, my Lord! The defendant is unnecessarily claiming the property which is owned by his brother and built out of his earnings.
Judge: Objection sustained. Sudhir, you may proceed.
Sudhir: Keshava, How do you claim that the property belongs to the joint family?
Keshava: The site on which the building was constructed was purchased out of joint family income.
Sudhir: Do you have any proof for your claim?
Keshava: Yes. Here it is.
(Hands over a voucher and a pass book. Sudhir goes through them and presents the same to the Judge)
Sudhir: Ok Keshava, You can go now. (Looking at the judge) May I proceed now?
Judge: please proceed.
Sudhir: Sir, the site in Bangalore was purchased out of the money sent by the Head of the family from out of the family income. The voucher and the bank pass book entry clearly prove this fact. It represents the entire cost of the site and even the draft particulars are furnished in the sale deed executed by the Authority in plaintiff’s husband’s favour. I understand that the present market value of the 50’x60’ site is around rupees two crores.The honourable court is aware that any property purchased out of the joint family income also belongs to the family (HUF) only, as per Hindu Law. Under the circumstances the defendant is in order in claiming it as family property and seeking for its inclusion in the assets to be partitioned. The honourable court may kindly give its order accordingly. That is all I want to say, Sir.
Judge: Mr. Bhat, what do you want to say in the matter?
Bhat (still trying to recover from the shock): I seek some time for my client to look into the matter.
It is nearly a month since the court hearing. Sudhir got a communication from Bhat stating that his client wants to withdraw her plaint and close the issue. He told Keshava to discuss with his wife and son whether they are agreeable to forego their rightful claim on the Bangalore property. Keshava found that both of them were happy to just have the agriculture land and were least interested in any other property. Sudhir informed Bhat accordingly with the condition that Smitha should confirm on behalf of her family that she does not have anymore claim on the family assets. A compromise petition was filed in the court and the case was dismissed.
A little background on Sudhir in A V Krishnamurthy's words :-
Last month I had been to my brother-in-law's place near Mangalore.
His son (Sudhir) is practicing as a lawyer. He told me about an interesting case involving Hindu Law. I have based my above story on the provisions of the said law, which many are not aware. The story is purely creative and has no connection with the case referred to by Sudhir to me.
I have seen Sudhir right from the days of his boyhood. He has grown up to become a highly successful multi-tasking young man.
It may be interesting to know the type of multi-tasking he does:
He looks after his agricultural lands.
He practices as a successful advocate in the town.
He is a lecturer in the college and teaches law.
He has to look after his aged parents.
His father has four brothers and five sisters; he has to take care of them when they and their extended families visit the house. He has to do the similar activity for his sister's family.
He has to take care of his own family- a lovely wife, a smart son and a cute daughter.
The town is at a distance of 8 kms and he has to travel daily.
Sudhir does all this and much more with not even a frown on his face!
As the school reopen day is approaching near here in Texas, I’m finding “back to school” advertisements all over the television.It’s nothing unusual to see advertisements to popup just before some event like Valentine’s Day, Memorial Day and now advertisements are all about “back to school” days in the month of August.This year the advertisements are different than usual.Is it a good difference I am talking? Absolutely not! I am appalled and outraged at some of these advertisements.
Let me take an example. This advertisement starts with a boy, may be aged 11 years or younger, dressing and changing hundreds of cloths in front of the mirror, practicing his words on how he should approach this girl he has crush on.I guess the advertisers wanted to convey a message that wearing good cloths boosts this boy’s confidence to talk to girls…may be?But I see it in different spectrum. Shouldn’t he be concentrating on book or sports than girls at that age? May be I’m from different generation all together. May be girls and boys are interested in each other at age 10 only these days.
Another example is about this girl who is very shy and I guess new to that school. She carries her lunch and goes to a bunch of good looking girls and says “Can I sit here?” The main girl in the group takes a good look and says “Sure”.And when this new girl sits down happily, the main girl in the group says “Nice top”.Instantly there are all holding hands and walking in the school corridor, laughing, giggling, checking out guys and all. So there you go, wearing a nice top can get you lots of friends and you will be popular. I can buy that top and many more such tops at this super store in the advertisement.My daughter is shy; I better buy that top for her. Looking good can get her many friends and boost her confidence.
May be I’m over reacting here; may be I’m not raised this way. We had school uniforms when I was growing up.We all students looked and felt the same.No question of spending hours together in front of the mirror and trying out all trendy cloths. No question of low self esteem, no friendship hurdles, and no NONSENSE.“Back to school” means another year of challenging academic, year of hard work and lots of home work, and spending fun time with friends and playing sports.School is an abode of unlimited knowledge, timeless exploration, and creative learning. A place where punctuality, perseverance, respect, hard work and determination are the founding steps of every student. ‘Style’ and ‘clothing ‘has nothing to do with school and education.
I wonder why there aren’t uniform systems in United States. Well, there are some but most of public schools don’t have uniform as part of school culture.It’s a pity. I bet the lobbyist of clothing companies wouldn’t allow uniform system to be a part of school culture. It would only mean fewer sales of kid’s cloths and ultimately lesser profit. I wish we all parents sign a petition and request all schools to adopt uniform as part of school norm.This would definitely bring so much change in school-goers attitude and behavior. Until then, wishing all back-to-school goers a very happy, knowledge-filled, fun-filled and healthy school year.
I took the above clip when I visited my parents this year in India. I still remember my kid’s baffled face when they heard this laud Indian music and saw folks dancing on the street.It was something they never witnessed.I didn’t feel anything strange about it until I saw my kids’ gasped looks. I ran inside home to bring my camera and started shooting this clip. This is something they will never ever see on American streets.There are no words to describe how this works on a busy intersection with so many people walking and dancing, with that loud music without disrupting the natural flow of the traffic. AMAZING!!! This happens only in India.
A conversation sprouted between me and a very good friend of mine on one regular sun-drenched Texas afternoon.The topic was “health and longevity”. My friend who is 30+ years older to me had so much personal knowledge and experience to append.I was little startled when he said that good health doesn’t guarantee longevity and ill health doesn’t assure fatality either.He believes there is no relationship between the two. I was little skeptic to hear that. Longevity is one of the most important reasons for staying healthy for majority of population isn’t it? The conversation got more remarkable with so many real life examples to support his credence on this subject matter. One of those examples that stuck in my mind is the example of his brother who was diagnosed with some fatal heart disease. The doctors’ told his brother would die in a week or so. His brother ended up living 20 more years from the day he was told he would die. Fluke I thought at that time. Not in disrespect to his ideology, but a severe lack of real life experience on my own part.
This conversation took place about seven years ago. Whenever I reminiscence about it, I couldn’t agree more on every word he uttered on that day. In these seven years I have heard of true stories of healthy people demise due to heart failure. My husband’s colleague’s nephew died at a young age of 21 years. He died of heart failure. Isn’t his age too young to die of heart problem I thought?Recently DH’s colleague died of heart failure. DH spoke to him Friday night and he died Saturday morning around 3 am.This was a huge shocker for us. A healthy person who had no cholesterol problems, no hyper tension, no diabetes, and no family history of heart disease died so suddenly (He never smoked or drank alcohol).Tim Russert who hosted “meet the press” collapsed on his work desk and died due to heart failure. Tim was fifty eight years young. In these seven years I came upon some many real life examples that I’m now convinced that being healthy has nothing to do with once death or longevity.
By saying so I’m not promoting any unhealthy habits here. Staying fit and being healthy is the best gift one can give themselves.If you ask me why is it so important to be healthy? The answer to it defers from individuals to individuals.For some being healthy saves money by visiting less often to doctors and paying less frequently for those expensive medications; for some it brings best work performance and more over business enterprises these days tend to recruit healthy and fit employees for their own healthy productivity; for some it bring more energy, emotionally stable and spiritually in touch with one self; for some it bring happy hormones, makes them happy and contented; for some it slows downs the aging process, keeping them look and feel young for a long period of time; for some it is a claim for independence, less dependence on other to do their daily chore. My personal reasons for staying healthy and fit are changing accordingly to the stages of my life. At this stage of my life, I literally live for my kids. Their routine gets hampered if I don’t keep well.
If longevity is your reason for staying healthy then you might want to rethink about it. Can any one guarantee longevity if you are a regular exerciser, healthy eater and disease-free person? I bet not. Who can predict death? Death may befall on anyone anytime does matter if you are healthy or unhealthy person, poor or rich, young or old.
